| Take a Break! |
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| Kids Are Quick |
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| TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. |
| MARIA: Here it is. |
| TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? |
| CLASS: Maria. |
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| TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? |
| JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. |
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| TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' |
| GLENN: 'K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L' |
| TEACHER: No, that's wrong |
| GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. |
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| TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? |
| DONALD: H I J K L M N O. |
| TEACHER: What are you talking about? |
| DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. |
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| TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. |
| WINNIE: Me! |
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| TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? |
| GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. |
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| TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' |
| MILLIE: I is.. |
| TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' |
| MILLIE: All right..... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' |
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| TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him? |
| LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. |
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| TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? |
| SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. |
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| TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? |
| CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. |
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| TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? |
| HAROLD: A teacher |
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| And for Valentines day…… |
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A Greek and a Scotsman were sitting in a Starbuck's cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows. |
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The Scotsman then replies, 'Well... It was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.' |
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The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.' The Scotsman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Scots were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars.' |
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And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!' |
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The Scotsman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to women.' |
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