| Take a Break! |
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| Carol and Donna were doing some carpentry work on a Habitat for Humanity house. |
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Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Carol explained, |
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'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.' Donna got completely upset and yelled, |
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'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!' |
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Business Etiquette |
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A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." |
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"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." |
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Puff! She's gone. |
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"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." |
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Puff! He's gone. |
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"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." |
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Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say |
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| On the telephone… |
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Actual Call Centre Conversations
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: Sir, they are our opening hours'.
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?'
Operator: Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
'If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: Yes... That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
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Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.
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Tech Support: OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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^Top |
